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Apr. 13th, 2009


Lil' Bit Nervous

I'm usually one of those "avoids seeing the doctor" people because:

A).  Most health issues I have involve common colds and viruses, so the trip is almost always a waste
B).  Seeing a doctor, even with insurance, always seems to be expensive.

So I have a doctor's appointment for Thursday, since I've got two things bothering me right now.  One is potentially more serious than the other, but both are bothering the shit out of me right now.

First:  I have either spider bites or cysts or horrible bacne on my right shoulder blade.  I have no idea what they are.  All I know is that they hurt a bit if I raise my arms up (and thereby compress the skin a bit).  It's been 3 days, and they are showing signs of growing together (there's 4 of them in a constellation) rather than going away.  Need to get that checked out.

Second: Two weeks ago I noticed a "chafing" sensation in my right armpit, and thought maybe my dry-cleaned dress shirts just had some extra starch in them I wasn't used to or something.  However, the sensation continued, even when I woke up in the morning and hadn't had a shirt on for 8 hours.  Now, it feels like I have something constantly held in my arpit, like, fold up a cloth and hold it in your armpit by holding your arm against your side.  Kinda like that.  It's definitely under the skin, and I can't find it.  So, something awry in my arpit and me approaching 40 (in two years!) = no fucking around and go straight to the doctor and get this checked out.  Maybe it's just a pulled muscle?  I hope?

I'm hoping that these two things can be fixed with coritzone and more cortizone (bug bite and inflamed glands or something).  I'll also accept but not enjoy antibiotics.  I'm just reeeeallly hoping that neither requires surgery.

/fingers x'd.

Apr. 5th, 2009


FYI Mother Nature...

It's APRIL 05.

Maybe you missed the memo that it's Spring? No, honest, it's Spring now.  Birds singing, trees budding, wind's not freezing cold, etc.  So now that we're both up to speed, do you think you could CUT IT THE FUCK OUT WITH THE SNOW?

No Love,

The guy who has to scrape snow off his car April 6th before he heads into work early on Monday.

Feb. 12th, 2009


Why I Don't Have Bumper Stickers

Really, the following is why I just think anything of any kind of permanence is stupid, be it a bumper sticker, or a tattoo, or whatnot. 

I saw this on the way into work this morning, and didn't get my phone out in time to get the picture.  It was on the wheel cover of a Jeep (Hi Rick!) in front of me.  The woman obviously was stacking bumper stickers on it, working from the middle out as she found new ones to put on.  The Obama one there was "offset" from the middle, so it was probably the most recent one and crammed in awkwardly.

I'm pretty sure if she stopped to read all of her stickers and ponder them for a bit, she might want to get a new wheel cover and start over:
Click for political hilarity ensuing.Collapse )

Jan. 28th, 2009


Gauging the Gouging.

So far, this has been at least a 5 gallon winter, and there's no signs of it stopping.  What kind of gallons?  Windshield wiper fluid.

Today I had to stop at the Oasis on the highway to get some more as I only put in a 1/3rd of a gallon (what I had left) last time I ran out, and I knew I was getting low.

So I pull in, walk inside, and figure that with four bucks in cash, I should have enough to buy the fluid, and have plenty left over for chips, drinks, and snacks in the vending machine at work.  No need for the charge card.

Oh, was I wrong.

It rang up to $3.64 for the gallon.  For some blue tinted water with an anti-freeze agent in it.  Let's review some other things that come in gallon sizes.

Water (distilled):  $1.49
Gasoline (89 octane):  $1.94
Milk (2%):  $2.99

This shit used to cost a buck.  ONE DOLLAR.  They're only charging this much because they know we'll pay for it, or the car is undriveable.

Jan. 20th, 2009


Sick to Death

In just ten minutes it'll all be over, and I won't have to hear any more about "historic firsts" again.  HA HA HA OH GOD WHO AM I KIDDING?

Since all I have to cope is comedy, I give you this:


Because seriously, if the media could, they would.

Jan. 14th, 2009


You know what's awesome?

Reading your old blog posts and realizing you used to be funnier than you are now.

But really:  learning your Dad doesn't have cancer.

It's been a pretty decent day.

Jan. 1st, 2009


A Bouquet of NO

Okay, I come upstairs due to el_bow  's insistance that she's smelling skunk (through a sealed up winterized house, but hey, I smell it, too), turn on the porch light, part the blinds, and there's a 20 lb possum eating the Japanese cran-apples on the deck.


Dec. 11th, 2008



This is the world's greatest Dad.

Dec. 8th, 2008


Happy Thing Day 3

Today I'm happy that when the fucking tree fell over, that the super ancient glass acorn ornaments that belonged to Liz's Grandmother didn't break.

Although I'm not thrilled that the 60 year old spun glass angel got a little bit damaged and two of Liz's old ornaments broke.

I'm sorry if I'm not really good at this happy thing lately.

Dec. 7th, 2008


Happy Thing Day 2

Today's happy thing:  Having  a little bit of time to keep the family tradition alive of going and getting a Christmas tree together.

I feel bad I wasn't there to decorate the tree with el_bow and the kiddo, but at least we managed to pick one out today, cut it down, and bring it home.  And we got some fun looks as the tree (strapped to the roof) was almost as big as the car.

Also:  house isn't blown up yet.

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